Growing up in a traditional Vietnamese household, I was often told my both my parents that as a girl I must behave and do things a certain way. I was not allowed to wear tank tops because in “our” culture, girls are modest. I wasn’t allowed to have more than 1 ear piercing because in Vietnam, girls with multiple piercings were considered sluts and tramps.
Vietnam has always carried very strong traditional values, as it is a highly moralistic society in which men looked for virgins to marry. As Vietnam is a strong family-oriented society where women are expected to be married by their mid twenties and have children is considered normal, sex prior to marriage for women is extremely looked down upon as they hold strong traditions where the women must be pure for their husbands. The traditions of keeping a woman’s virginity safe, clean, and untouched before marriage comes from believing that it would “lead to true love, a healthy marriage, and prevent unwanted pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases as Vietnam’s health care system was not well developed in the past.”
Traditionally, unmarried women who become pregnant could have their heads shaved and smeared with lime as punishment in Vietnam’s traditional rural societies. According to Nguyen Viet Son, a Hanoi-based lawyer, “premarital sex still remains illegal under regulations set forth by the ruling Communist Party.” Due to these traditions and regulations, cohabitation is very rare as they may not only be fined, but they will be extremely looked down upon in society and will bring shame to their families.
For women who lose their virginity at a young age prior to marriage, they are often considered the tramps of society and have difficulty finding marriage partners as they are then deemed as as dirty. Although women are prohibited from giving into sexual acts, men on the other hand are able to enjoy their sexual lust to the max.
With the stigma of women unable to give in to their sexual desires before marriage, Vietnamese society norms have women to live at home with her parents upholding a curfew until marriage. This prohibits them from staying out late at night, sleeping over someone’s home, or even inviting them to their home personally. By holding women at home, it prohibits women from making any advances in engaging in any sexual acts. Vietnamese women are also raised to value the typical women roles of cooking, cleaning, and generally taking care of their partner. Thus, they look for more serious, long term relationships rather than casual ones and are less likely to partake in sexual relationships.
Due to the traditional upbringing of Vietnamese women, western media picks this up, and along with other Asian cultures, begin sexualizing and stereotyping Asian women in general by categorizing them as exotic and submissive. This also comes into play of “Yellow Fever”, where typically white men have a clear sexual preference/obsession towards Asian women. Asian women in media are often represented as passive, oriental, exotic, traditional girls with a sweet personality, good family values, and a slim body. This generalizes all Asian women into one category, which is essentially an exotically sexual object. Especially as Vietnamese women are raised to value their homemaking role, this allows men to feel secure as the breadwinner and have the overall authority.
-KP
Sexuality and Cultures 